... on trust

I’m struggling with being able to trust God with my WHOLE life.

I feel that in my life I know what’s best for me, so therefore I must be in complete control. Being in control makes me happy. It makes me feel confident, strong and knowledgeable.

It’s like sometimes I would just rather take hold of the steering wheel and drive instead of letting God direct my path. How can I really trust that He knows what’s best? But then again, there are certain areas of my life where I find it easy to trust in Him because He has proved Himself faithful to me time and time again.

The thing about driving is that I know where I’m going and I know how to get there. The freeways and streets are familiar, and I even know short-cuts. I know how to be prepared before a journey, like putting gas in the car and regularly taking it in to get the tires rotated and change the oil. I know what type of music I like to listen to on my drive. My friends are even comfortable in my car. They trust me. They trust that I will get us all to the destination alive and in one piece. But this can all change if I make a wrong move, or if I’m too tired and fall asleep at the wheel, then we have a major problem (humans are fallible, though - another topic for a different day!). But, I would not choose to make a wrong decision when driving, unless I’m being spontaneous about the destination. But, just as my friends trust me to get us to our destination safely; I should be able to trust that God will get me to the destination too.

I would LOVE to understand HOW to trust God. But, for some reason the connection is bad and all I’m hearing is static. Does anyone really have a clear connection with God? Or, is it that those connections we have with Him are by choice? And, am I just choosing to listen to Him with some areas of my life and not listening to other areas?

Well, apparently I’m not alone in struggling with trust … Trust is mentioned in the Bible way too many times to count – seriously! The passage that enters my thoughts with regards to trust is this:

Psalm 37:3-6

3 Trust in the LORD, and do good;
Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.
4 Delight yourself also in the LORD,
And He shall give you the desires of your heart.

5 Commit your way to the LORD,
Trust also in Him,
And He shall bring it to pass.
6 He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light,
And your justice as the noonday.

Trust and do good. Hmm … sound familiar?

... on doing good

Galations 6:7-10 says, 

“Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. 8 For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life. 9 And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. 10 Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith.”

I think we are all challenged at many random points in our lives to do good. All I can think of sometimes is, “Really Lord?! I’m supposed to do good in THIS situation?!” I feel myself in silent protest when faced with the opportunity to do good. Especially if there are people out there that I feel really don’t deserve goodness. I mean really, what does God expect of us? Everyone … to do good … to ALL? Is there a limit on what “all” is? Can it be all, except (*fill in the blank*)?

Daily I am faced with situations where I feel that pursing my lips, furrowing my brows, crossing my arms and stampeding away would be the best answer. There are even those times where a situation might be so frustrating that it leaves me feeling like I don’t even want to do good to those closest to me. And because of these pressures coming from all different directions we choose to be selfish, stand there and let the opportunity for us to do good slip away from us.

But, then you get a call from a friend who says his dad just found out they have cancer. Or an email from another friend who says their aunt just passed away. And in that wide-eyed moment of a reality-check any thoughts of wanting to stampede away and any selfish feelings from frustrating situations have been dissolved. You stand there left with two things: God and Love.

There is so much hurt and so much pain in the world. Would it really hurt us to do good to others, to love unconditionally, and to care deeply?

meandering

As I was driving home today I was watching a sweet little old lady walking her dog. She had all the patience for this dog to find the best spot to … well, you know, relieve himself. But, she had the most patience, care, and love for that dog. She didn’t know where the little precious thing was going, but she was willing to allow him to lead her. As I was watching her, the question that came to my mind was, does anyone really know where they are going in life? Or are we all just meandering about in life? (And, of course there are implications from this story about following Jesus that you can make on your own...)

You know, the best way to get someone to do something is to not pressure them. The action being done is best done when it comes out of desire. For some strange reason, I have had the desire to start a blog. Not from any pressure from my friends, although I have very dear friends that are bloggers. But, this whole blogging thing is weird for me! And, by the way, I am not claiming to be a writer, and I don’t even have correct grammar or spelling (and please don’t use this time to “encourage” me … I’m just being honest with myself!). Plus, I’m not even sure about the whole putting my meandering thoughts and events of my life out in the open for all to see. No privacy! And, what about stalkers? I mean, is this whole blogging thing actually safe? Well, either way, here is my attempt at starting a blog. I know, I know, 20 years kind of late. I guess I missed that boat way back when…

Now, back to the word meandering. I like this word. Not only is it fun to say, but it has depth and meaning. As I was thinking about the direction that our lives our headed, I kept thinking of all these unknown factors. When I think about where the US was 5 years ago, I would have NEVER guessed that we would be in this financial upheaval. On the one hand, it’s a good thing that people are finally being responsible for their finances. On the other hand, it’s very sad to witness people being forced to move from their homes because of a job loss or they simply can no longer afford a mortgage. So, really … do we REALLY know where we are going?

So, as we all press ahead together on this journey of meandering about, my hope is that this blog can be a venue that I can get to know myself better and the direction that I’d like to go in life, and while I meander about through my life and thoughts, that you might find out whom you truly are and where you truly desire to go in life.

I leave you today with the infamous quote from Shakespeare’s Hamlet:

Polonius:
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Farewell, my blessing season this in thee!